PRECIOUS READS OF MAY

 May is the month of expectation, the month of wishes, the month of hope - Emily Brontë

I read some amazing books in May. In fact, I read a book that has become one of my all time favorite novels. It has changed my life. I think about it often, and it will be a book I'll read over again as I grow and mature. 

I've tried to have more hope in my heart this month and it has made me happier, along with the five books I've read this month.

I have a lot to say about these wonderful books, so without further ado, here are my precious reads of May :)

East of Eden by John Steinbeck 

Image taken by me

This book shattered my world in the most beautiful way. Oh my goodness. I'm having a hard time knowing where to start with all my thoughts.

To make sure we're all on the same page, I should probably start with what the book is about. East of Eden follows two families: the Trasks and the Hamiltons. We see the world through the eyes of Adam Trask from the time he's a child until he's a man making his own life decisions. His story gradually leads us to the Hamiltons where a journey of good, evil, and free will unfolds.

This is my first Steinbeck novel, but after this I want to read everything he's ever written. Like most of my reads, I went into this with low expectations, despite the fact that everyone was telling me it was going to change my life.

For some reason, I had a hard time believing it would.

Long story short, everyone was right.

I remember I just wanted to read the first few pages to see if I would like it (this was when I was reading Mrs. Dalloway and wanted a break). I read three pages, and I was hooked. I was already underlining and adding a sticky note. That, my friends, is what signals a life-changing read.

What sticks with me most about this book are the uniquely human characters Steinbeck has created. It's been well over a month now since I've finished it, and I recently opened the book back up to look for what a character (Lee) had said because I needed it. I laughed and cried with these people who had become friends and family of my own. Never before had I become so attached like this, and I feel it's going to take many rereads of this masterpiece for me to identify Steinbeck's magic.

Additionally, the ways in which he handled these larger-than-life themes were simply masterful. Tackling themes such as identity, good and evil, and free will is no easy feat, but he did such an amazing job.

 As someone who isn't religious, I came into this book knowing that it references the story of Cain and Abel and is kind of structured like the bible. Because of this, I had some inhibitions. I thought the story line would come off as preachy, but it wasn't like that at all. 

Not only are the characters and writing rich, but so is Salinas Valley. The world of Salinas Valley is so so so rich and it made me want to visit California.

While reading, I was able to make some connections to other stories I've read. The ways in which Adam put Cathy on a pedestal in the beginning reminded me of how everyone idolized Maxim de Winter's first wife, Rebecca, in Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. It always interests me when something like this happens because it always turns out to be faulty. It's a really dangerous thing to do and it's a valuable lesson to learn.

I also made a connection to The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. Firstly, the ways in which Adam blindly regards Cathy and essentially puts all his hopes and dreams on her reminds me of the way Dorian treated Sibyl Vane. Secondly, there's evil in both characters in both novels. The more Dorian's soul sours and becomes corrupt, the more he ruins the people around him. Almost everyone Dorian came in contact with ends up ruined in the end, and the exact same pattern is happening with Cathy. 

Cathy is a complex character. I feel it's going to take multiple re-reads for me to really understand her, but the passage about Alice in Wonderland in connection with her was impactful and something I will have to read (and annotate) again. 

The last thing I'll say about this masterpiece is that not only does it showcase characters who are perfectly imperfect, as a reader, it felt like it was holding up a mirror to my own morals. It brought out carnal emotions and reactions in me. It made me question myself, what I would do if I were in that time period, in that world, and ultimately taught me how to see people behind the mask they wear.

If it wasn't clear already, I would absolutely recommend this book to others. I've already recommended it a ton, and with the Netflix adaptation coming out (Florence Pugh is going to eat that role up!) there couldn't be a better time to read it. 

Winter Love by Han Suyin

Image taken by me

The first thing I'm going to say about this book is that it reminds me so much of Giovanni's Room. It is the perfect companion piece.

Now that that's out of the way, let me tell you what it's about.

Winter Love by Han Suyin is a short novella about our main character, Red, a medical student, who falls in love with fellow med student named Mara. This set up sounds really cute until the obstacles are revealed. Those obstacles are that: Mara is married, Mara and Red happen to be two women, and the latter is only a problem because the story is set in 1940s London. The only way their relationship can work is in secret, but Red is human.

I'm human.

Human beings can only take so much.

This is a heartbreaking story. Personally, I don't find it to be as heartbreaking as Giovanni's Room, but I chalk that up to the fact that I didn't get to spend as much time with these characters. It's a fast paced story, one that will have you turning the pages until the very end. 

Unputdownable, if you will.

Like Giovanni's Room, the heartbreak occurs when a couple can't have each other completely because of life circumstances and the world they're living in at the time. Not only are these characters trying to navigate what it's like being attracted to a woman; they're in the final years of World War II, London is being bombed and everything is falling apart.

I found both characters to be interesting and multifaceted. Red is toxic. She is so toxic, and yet, it's never that simple. It's never that black and white. Everyone has a story; both East of Eden and Giovanni's Room taught me that.

Speaking of characters, the book is called Winter Love, and the season of Winter really feels like a character in this novel. The descriptions of the atmosphere is gorgeous and intentional. Not only is it cold outside, but Red is cold. Her heart is cold and Mara is the only one who can warm her, but she can't. 

At least, not completely.

I found that the season very much mirrored the mental and emotional states of the characters and I found that to be very well done.

Similarly, the time period acted as a sort of character as well. It greatly informed the predicament women were in at the time and added to the reason why there was such a spotlight on Red and Mara. Due to the men being away serving in the war, there simply wasn't a lot of them to go around. Not only does this serve as a nice backdrop for their love story, but it shines a light on Mara's differences, her attitudes, style and beauty against the stark reality of buzzer bombs.

Han Suyin's writing is gorgeous, sharp, and impactful. I don't think there's a line of fluff in this novella, and I understand the blurb on the front of the book -- I have a lot of sentences that I've tabbed simply because they're gorgeous. 

I can go on and on and on about this book because there's so much to unpack, and I feel I've barely scratched the surface, but I feel I should leave some intrigue so you can discover it for yourself, dear reader.

Overall, I did enjoy reading it. I'm very happy I read it. It was an enjoyable experience, and it makes my heart happy to read a novella I genuinely cannot put down. It's a tragic story, but perhaps I was able to handle it because of Giovanni's Room. 

Despite me enjoying the story as a whole, the ending of the novella left me feeling a little unsatisfied.

I wanted more.

I can't say anything else or spoilers will come spilling out of me, but yeah. I wanted more. In spite of this, I would definitely recommend, especially if you love to be ruined by a book and enjoyed the nuanced toxicity of Giovanni's Room.

A Game of Hide and Seek by Elizabeth Taylor

Image taken by me

This novel was a special experience, and it wasn't necessarily because of the story, but because this is my first ever NYRB (New York Review Books)!

NYRB is an independent publisher and they tend to publish stories from writers who are not as mainstream but deserve to have their stories heard. I had no idea they existed until Malissa (@bewareofpity on social media) put me on to them. I'm so glad she did because I now have a small collection going and get to read more stories from writers' I've never heard of :)

Anyway, back to the book review.

A Game of Hide and Seek is a novel about young love and how it grows over time. We follow our main protagonists Harriet and Vesey as 18 years olds navigating their futures. They have a special moment while -- you guessed it -- playing a game of hide and seek. There's a chemistry between them that can't be denied, but life gets in the way and they can't be together.

Vesey goes away to university (eventually going on to pursue an acting career) and Harriet stays behind in their hometown to work at a dress shop as she did not score high enough marks on the entrance exams to attend university. She eventually grows up, gets married to another man, and has a child. Most of the novel is spent following these characters through the years seeing how their love doesn't wane. It remains untouched like a porcelain doll.

Their love is fragile and remains in the same state it was during their teenage years. To me, it acts as a cautionary tale when people don't follow their hearts. They live a life of regret.

While I wasn't annotating a lot of the prose, what stood out to me the most were the ideas the characters posited.  Multiple characters in this novel expressed the idea that we are fully formed in the womb (personality, traits, etc), and that as we grow up we're simply "unfolding." This sentiment was echoed by many characters -- all women -- which is something I found deeply interesting and insightful.

Additionally, while the title refers to the moment/event where everything changes between Harriet and Vesey, I feel it's also a through-line for the rest of the novel, a silent motif. 

What does it mean to hide one's feelings, to hide who they are? 

What does it mean to be "it"?

What does it mean to be found?

I love when a book challenges me to think beyond the characters and apply what I'm reading into my own life, and this book definitely did that for me. A Game of Hide and Seek is raw, gritty, and exposes the reality of having a lost love. I'd recommend it and am happy it was the first of many in my deep dive into NYRB :)

Journey into The Past by Stefan Zweig 

Image taken by me

Readers... this book was interesting. 

Before unpacking my unfiltered thoughts on it, I should fill you in on what this book's about. Journey into The Past is a novella about our main character, Ludwig, who falls in love with his employer's wife. The two have mutual feelings towards each other, but Ludwig has to go away to Mexico.

He'll be away for two years in fact.

At least, that was the plan until war broke out. Because of this, he ends up living in Mexico for nine years. Time passes, he "moves on," builds a life for himself and forgets about his love until the war is over and he can see her again. The two reunite and make a journey into the past together for one last time.

Now I was a little disappointed by this book, but maybe that's because I went in with high expectations. Or perhaps my expectations were misplaced. 

My main gripe with this novel is that it's really short.

In my opinion, it's too short. In the book, Ludwig talks a lot about the ways in which he yearns for his employer's wife and this electric connection they have, but as a reader, it was hard to feel anything he was saying because the pacing was fast. 

I didn't get to spend a lot of time with the characters at all, and so it was difficult for me to connect with any of the "yearning" or supposed love that was being communicated. It didn't resonate with me. Overall, this reading experience made me appreciate longer books, though I know (and have read) short books that are meaty and give me some substance. Unfortunately, for me, this just wasn't one of them.

Now, in spite of the pacing and my inability to connect with the characters on a deeper level, I did find the writing to be heartfelt and passionate. Even though I personally didn't feel the yearning of the characters, it's obvious that the characters had strong feelings for one another, and perhaps that's more than enough.

The same is often true of life.

Perhaps I wasn't meant to be immersed in their love story. Perhaps I was meant to be a simple onlooker and not an active participant. That doesn't make it any less real.

It's a story for the characters' and that's it.

While I wasn't blown away with this particular work, I currently have Beware of Pity on my TBR, and am excited to give that one a shot :)

Does Anyone Else Feel This Way by Eli Rallo 

Image found on HarperCollins Publishers site

This book was a special experience for me because it was the first audio book I've ever listened to! 99.9% of the time, if I'm reading a book, I'm always going to be reading a physical (preferably paperback) copy. I love flipping the pages, writing in the margins, and having the book live on my shelf.

However, I decided to listen to the audiobook of this one because I follow Eli Rallo on TikTok and I love her content. I could listen to her talk for hours, so naturally, listening to her book was actually really therapeutic for me. I found it was super nice that I could listen to the book while eating, cleaning, and doing whatever else I needed to get done throughout the day.

I found it very enjoyable, so perhaps this will be the beginning of me listening to personal essays via audiobooks :)

Now, Does Anyone Else Feel This Way? is a collection of personal essays about navigating the treacherous twenties, friendships, love, comparing oneself, and battling the feeling of having to have everything figured out right now.

Transparently, I listened to this book because I needed it. 

I'm officially a year post grad, and it's been really hard. It's hard to adjust to a schedule I now have to create for myself.

It's difficult balancing work, and life, and hobbies and passion.

And don't even get me started on comparing oneself to the success filled content on Instagram and LinkedIn. Everything is a lot, but this book really helped me through it. Rallo's prose is sharp, smart, heartfelt and descriptive. She has such a natural way of writing personal essays that deeply resonated with me.

I'm in a much better place now, and this book got me through it. I'd highly recommend this for anyone who's struggling navigating a new chapter in their life and want some guidance that is personable, loving, and relatable. 

This was the last book I finished in May, and so this edition of Precious Reads has come to an end! May was a wonderful month of reading, and I really can't wait to see what I end up reading in June because I have so many options. 

Until next time ~